Finding yourself is one thing, but being a whole, new, complete version of yourself is another!
Here I go…very wide and deep into myself. Seeing my past and where I came from. I am proud to say Ive made It!
You see…since how far I came these past twenty-one years in my life. I have seen and experienced a lot of challenges in my life’s growth in my souls evolution, in how it evolves.
You see life wasn’t always easy since day one! I was barely hanging on life on the fourteenth day of November of 1995.
When I was born I weighed a pound and fourteen ounces not even close to being survivable. You see babies are even being aborted at that term of pregnancy, and what a disgrace it is to me is to see people fall for the victim trap and blame everything on everyone else as to why they got pregnant.
Take responsibility for yourself! It frustrates me!
What if you were the parents of having a child at 24 weeks premature?
How would you respond by this? You see my parents, they were SHOCKED!
My mother wasn’t expecting this to happen. Let alone have a child like this.
I bet she couldn’t even imagine what life could have been for me. Let alone where I am at today!
Thinking I could have been a vegetable and all, a lifeless zombie! What most people would have thought!
Even doctors said I probably wouldn’t have a chance to live, let alone walk, talk, or even cry. My sister had to teach me all of that!
Hearing stories from my family, especially my parents. The first reaction to all of this when my mother first saw me was just the shock of seeing a baby so little when seeing my father she vomited on him all over his shoes. She was a mess!
They had no clothes for me at all when I was born, they had doll clothes, the size of something you could fit in the palm of your hand.
My dad could even take his wedding ring and fit it up to my shoulder around my arm,
thats how tiny I was!
Heres a picture of me with my mother and I,
later on, after about 12 weeks in the hospital at Wesley Medical Center. I was put on a breathing machine and ventilator to keep me alive.
Since my lungs were so underdeveloped I had to be pumped with type of drug called surfactant to help me my lungs keep open, so they would keep me “afloat” and above the water metaphorically, to help me breathe better so I could get my head above water and survive!
You see life had just begun, my souls journey in becoming the strongest version of itself had just started. I was born.
I came into this world a winner a survivor fighting for my life.
The progression of my souls journey still moves on to this day as further premises in my life exemplify the stages of evolutionary growth in how and why I came into this world and where I am at in becoming the strongest version of myself!
I will explain further!
You see the path I am on is the unusually the one most people just take for granted. You see I am grateful for life. I let life take me and move me because I know I am on a greater journey then myself!
A bigger purpose!
A bigger vision!
A bigger life!
One that most people which just brush off as a coincidence…well it was not!
Later on I had numerous challenges in school. Being the different one. I had to gotten held back in school because I had challenges in learning, growing up. \
Teachers treated me differently cause I was so “special”. I even had to go to a special school to just to learn everything a young developed child had learned easily on it own.
Everything from reading to math I struggled at.
Everything from focusing to concentrating I struggled at.
Even at recess in school I struggled at playing sports with the classmates, I was always the last one picked on the team let alone get to play.
No one would include me!
I was alone!
You see sometimes, when one is on a vision quest, or a journey. One has to see the diamonds in there own painful experiences just to grow in life.
Just like a budding flower grows through the soil so does my life have to blossom through the earth of my body!
With what emanates in my body, the temple of my spirit! The progression of challenges are the only the stages of evolutionary growth of how I evolve.
You see we all grow in stages in the span of seven years, the stages lead to seven years at a time and seven stages in life, up to the age of forty-nine in life, the king stage. The stage of unconditional love.
Im only twenty-one, so I still have some stages to go before I reach the KING stage of development in my life.
Im just on the souls journey of becoming a warrior in my life. Since I have fought my battles so early in my child and young adult life. I have overcame the challenges of…
being born premature,
to dealing with the guilt and shame of the church,
to bitten by a poisonous snake and almost dying ( I had to take ten viles of anti-venom and that isn’t cheap)
to having an initial crisis, a psychotic breakdown seven times before my soul has realized what I am called to be,
to being at the state mental hospital twice,
to gaining sixty plus pounds,
and many more!
This year has been a blessing for me!
More of peace, joy, happiness, and allowance of just being.
You see today has been a year since my life has turned upside down,
it was the seventh and last time I had a psychotic breakdown,
I got out of the state hospital the seventh day of June as well!
Seven is a number of significance for me!
People say its LUCK, but I say its Labor Under Correct Knowledge!
The Knowledge to have faith when times are hard,
to know you are on the correct path when everything seems out of control,
to persist when times are hard knowing things are only going to get better!
I believed in myself, I had I faith, and I won!
I wouldn’t be writing this today if I hadn’t made it through that!
If I hadn’t I probably would be somewhere worse, but I thank the Great Spirit of God that helped guided me through my soul progression. In my initial crisis, my call!
Somehow my head was kept afloat and above the water, some how I made it through.
Sharing this with you today!
I hope you can take something from this!
This has came from the sentiment of my own heart!
Much love, peace, and bless up,